Did you know that the state of your home contributes to your family’s ability to relax and rest after a long day? At the end of the day, there is nothing better than to be able to walk in your front door and finally be able to relax. Or is it? Do you have to step over toys and shoes and move things in order to sit down? Sadly, that is the state of many busy homes. Unless of course, one can afford a housekeeping service. But, even if, there are just some things that must to be done by you.
If your home is messy or cluttered, it might not be the sanctuary you and your family need after battling the world all day. In some cases, it might be harmful to your mental health as it makes everyone feel stressed and overwhelmed.
Take some time today or over the coming week and look around your home. Is it peaceful? Comfortable? Is it a place you and your family can relax, rest, and recharge? Or is it the opposite? Do you or your husband dread coming home after a long day of work? Do the kids start fighting right when they walk in the door? Really get a feel for what is going on. Now is not the time to play the blame game. By this I mean don’t start looking around and say stuff to yourself like if these kids would just do what I tell them, or if my husband would pitch in.
Right now, it’s just you and your home sweet home. You are taking inventory. What effect is your home having on you and your family?
My mom’s house
Growing up my friends thought we were rich. We were not but I didn’t know that. I just knew that when I came skipping home from school and walked through the front door of my house, it was clean. The wood floors shined. There were wonderful smells of meals coming from the kitchen. It seemed like my mom was always cooking (there were 10 of us.) We weren’t allowed to do anything after school until we picked up our rooms, which basically consisted of whatever we didn’t pick up in the morning. My friends would come over and sit in the 12ft x 17ft living room (it wasn’t big by any means) afraid to move because it looked so nice. I would think they were being silly.
Then I went to their house. It was different. Sometimes their mom would yell out “don’t you bring anyone in here” or, I would be invited in and have to stand because there was no place to sit.
Later on in life, I realized that my mom only made sure that the common areas of our home were kept clean. The front room, the kitchen, and the bathrooms. She also kept the room she shared with my dad clean. Our bedrooms were our responsibility with her guidance. (We were all doubled up because as I mentioned earlier there were 10 of us.) Her house is also smaller than I remember. She still lives there, and my memories deceive me regarding the size.
My experiences
I spent many years working outside of my home, an 8 to 5 job, and during that time I had 4 of my own children and 1 that I adopted at the age of 13. I kind of know what it’s like to be at work all day, pick up kids and hurry up to get home, make dinner and get ready for the next day. Sometimes I had to clean the kitchen before making dinner, or at least do it while I prepared dinner. I didn’t like that. Sometimes there was a lot of laundry piled up and too many toys everywhere. And the school papers were taking on a life of their own. My husband was in grad school during our early years and when he was not in class or working on assignments, he did laundry and picked up the house.
Then there were times when he lived in a different city during the week and came home on the weekends. And times when we both worked long hours and came home exhausted. Those were times when the house turned to a bit of chaos with stuff and mess everywhere. It contributed to our moods. It made my husband feel cranky and overwhelmed. I felt swamped and helpless. We would argue, fuss and fight. The kids would fight about whose mess was whose. We would yell. It was no good. We would spend the weekends cleaning and putting things back together. That was no fun!
I’ve been there and I want to help
Why am I telling you all of this? So you know that I’ve been there. I started with the 5 kids that I mentioned earlier. Over the years I ended up with 5 more. Our household has always been busy. I have lived in a clean and peaceful home and a not-so-clean and chaotic home. I prefer the clean and peaceful. You know, I bet you do too.
I already know that everybody’s idea of a clean home is different. My clean may not be the same as yours. This is why I’m tasking you with looking around your own home and noticing the moods of your family. Are they relaxed and at peace? Are you? Or are you feeling overwhelmed and stressed? I bet they are too. If you’re already feeling motivated (not guilted) to get started right away, I would suggest that you grab a trash bag and go into every room and throw out every little bit of trash you see. Every empty or half-used water bottle. Every bit of packaging from those new items you brought in. All of the miscellaneous papers and junk mail. I know what’s there, I’ve been there remember?
While I no longer work outside of my home, there are still times when the chaos monster gets out of control and has to be tamed. In my next post, I will share some of the things that I do regularly to help me with this and talk about how I get everyone on board to help out.
“She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.”
Proverbs 31:27
