A Prayer of Surrender

Lord, I lay it all down. 

As I’m sitting in my office, in the middle of piles of stuff and junk, my head hung down in a posture of resignation, I prayed quietly; Lord I give all of my worries to you.  Not that I think you would want them, but your word tells me to cast all of my cares…so I do.

To my left is all of my writing.  My hopes of writing that book and whatever else I think you’re asking me to write.  Laying with that is my half-baked blog,  the tool that is supposed to help me reach people so that publishers will think I am worthy of their resources.  I can’t seem to get it off the ground, so maybe that is not what you are asking for.

On my right are my re-sale businesses.  I thought these would help me pay for the blog, but they don’t.   They are creative outlets for me and enjoyable work when I’m doing it.  I have neglected them anyway, so to lay them down is easy physically but mentally I feel I have failed. 

In front of me are all of my family’s needs and relationships.   The grands that I am raising.  Their mom.  My sweet husband who patiently holds my hand in encouragement for whatever my heart sets out to do.    My other kids?  They’re here.  They support me and help me when they can, but they have their own set of responsibilities too.      

Here is my ministry of cooking and running the kitchen.  It used to be a labor of love.  Now I can barely make it through one large event.  It truly wipes me out.  My home?  You can have that too.  I don’t have the energy to keep it together like I once had.  It’s enough to make the meals and keep up with the kids. 

Oh, the care of me?  That got buried under all the things a long time ago.    You can have this whole pile, my whole life.  I don’t think I’ve forgotten anything.   If you find that I have, you have my permission to keep that too. 

Here is the master key, it opens every door, every closet.   It is all yours if you want it, to do with as you see fit. 

1 Peter 5:7 (NKJV) …casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.

I prayed this prayer a few years ago

All of these things are still a part of my life, except now I handle them in a better way.  They are no longer burdens.  The difference is that everything I do, I do for the Glory of the Lord.  I don’t put undue pressure on myself to make everything perfect.  When I gave it all to Him, He gave me rest.  I no longer worry about being worthy enough for a publisher.  I am enough.  Even if my email list doesn’t meet the standards of a publisher, God said to be faithful where I was, with who I was given.  So I share my heart with you, my readers. 

Now

I enjoy creating the displays in my antique booth again, and guess what?  The proceeds not only pay for the rented space but also for my blog space!  God did that.  I make sure that I give to God what is his. 

My family.  I enjoy each and every one and I don’t try to fix their problems.  I do my best to guide them to answers by pointing them to the cross.  Daily prayers are lifted up for each one and I have total trust in God to take care of them.  Sometimes He gives me words to speak to them, and a lot of times I’m just there to listen. 

I still love the ministry I have been entrusted with.  Serving our church through managing the kitchen, can still wipe me out.  Just depends on how big the event is and how much help I have! But it is always done with such joy that I don’t even notice my feet ache at the end of an event.  It’s a good ache.  Because while my legs and feet throb, my heart is full.   

As for my home, it is what it is.  It’s comfortable and nice.  It’s exactly what I need.  God knew that when He gifted us with it.  I am very thankful.

And last, myself.  I’ve always put everyone else’s needs before mine, as most moms do.  God is showing me how, where, and when to care for myself.  He shows me what I need, both spiritually and physically.  

He Cares

Why? Because He cares.  And I have given Him total access, I hold nothing back.  He is gentle to point out what I need to get rid of, including my attitudes and pride.  The imperfections will always be there, that is what makes me who I am.  But even with those He has set me a part for himself. 

Have you given all of your cares and concerns over to God?  Do you want to be set apart by Him?  Just pray and don’t hold anything back.  Let him into your heart, your head, and all of you.  Even the areas that you feel are unclean and unworthy.  He will take them and lighten your load.  He will set you apart for himself, as long as you let him.    

Matthew 11:28-30 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.